5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Colleague - Stoic Matchmaker

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Colleague

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Colleague

September 21, 2022

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Colleague.

Workplace romances are quite common, but you may wonder if there is any benefit from dating someone you work with. In fact, some people who work with their sweetheart report that they feel less stress and anxiety when they date someone at work.

 

However, workplace dating can be a tricky affair. You may have strong feelings for someone at work, but is pursuing those feelings worth the risk? Here are a few reasons you might want to think twice before dating a colleague.

 

It Could Be Awkward

 

You will inevitably see each other every day. This could result in some awkward situations if the two of you get into a disagreement or your relationship is on shaky grounds. Attempting to keep things in your work life professional while you are working through your personal differences can be very difficult. Your work life, as well as your personal life, may become uncomfortable, which will increase your stress level and increase the likelihood that you “blow up” at the office over some small detail.

 

Also, think about your coworkers. Some may be outwardly supportive, but irrespective your romance will take the top seat in office gossip. Remember, people gossip about each other and about other people in order to fill their time.

 

If you don’t talk with colleagues and keep your head down and focus on the work, you’ll still be the topic of gossip. The reason is that gossip is a normal part of life, and people love to talk about something juicy that is occurring in another’s private life. They’ll talk behind your back and spread rumors.

 

Even if you try to keep things low-key, gossip will spread like wildfire in an office if you’re found out, and you’ll find yourself the subject of it. In the end, things may not go well for you or your sweetheart.

 

It Could Affect Your Work

 

This could be a problem regardless of whether things pan out with you and your workplace sweetheart. Your job can affect your romantic relationship, and our romantic relationship can affect your job. It’s that simple.

 

Most times, you’ll get distracted by your romantic relationship. You’ll be thinking about love instead of being fully engaged in doing your work. For example, you’ll find yourself distracted knowing that they’re just across the room or down the hall.

 

Flirtatious texts and stolen glances become the norm and these are counterproductive to your work. Such distractions are counterproductive to your boss’s wallet.

 

Additionally, if things go sour, it can be hard to continue working together without feeling awkward or resentful. Just the very building you work in could be a constant reminder of what could have been. This kind of emotional discourse is better minimized at work.

 

It Can Seem Unprofessional

 

If you are dating someone who is a co-worker, it can make you look unprofessional. There can be a risk that your colleagues may think that you are more focused on your personal life than your work. This could also make you look like a bad employee to your boss.

 

In addition, if you are dating someone who is in a higher position than you are, it can create the appearance of favoritism or nepotism. It can make you appear weak. Such can lead to problems in your career including you being seen as unprofessional because the playing field with other employees is now viewed as being stacked to your advantage for potential advancements. Thus, to compensate, the company may refuse you the opportunity to move up because of this.

 

So, if you are going to have a romantic relationship at work, it is better to date a person in a similar position or grade scale as you. But know that your colleagues may question your judgment and wonder if you’re more interested in your personal life than your work.

 

If you’re a boss, never be romantically involved in a personal relationship with anyone who works under you. In most companies, this is strictly taboo and you’ll be fired on the spot once found out by senior leadership.

 

It Can Be Difficult to End

 

If you want to end a relationship, you should talk to the person and let him/her know what’s going on. This will allow you to have the chance to fix the problems. If the problems are not resolved, you should let the person know that you want to break up with him/her.

 

You don’t have to like the person, but you should be respectful and polite. This will make it easier to end the relationship and allow you both to keep your sanity, and professionalism, while at work.

 

Although breaking up is never easy, but it can be especially difficult when you have to see each other every day at work. Your workstations may be in eyesight of each other or one of you may have a workstation that is located at a pivotal point in the office such as being located in front of the company fax machine or restrooms.

 

If you’re not on good terms, the constant seeing of the other passing by can become a nightmare. Those prior smiles are now replaced with frowns, smirks, head shaking, or outright ignoring you. Such actions can make going to the office exceedingly anxiety-ridden and your ability to get any work done will be impaired.

 

If you don’t want to be embarrassed, you may think about finding a new job. If you decide that you want to leave your current job, you need to consider some of the risks you are taking by doing so. For example, you may lose a good opportunity to advance at work in the future.

 

Another downside is that if you quit on the spot, you’ll worry, lose sleep, and lose concentration, and possibly lose your self-confidence which will make it more difficult to find another job. It’s a double whammy because you’ve given up your sweetheart and your job in one fell swoop.

 

Furthermore, you may have difficulty finding someone who will give you a decent reference for your next job since you left before you could mend fences with your fellow colleagues and bosses for the fiasco caused by your dating a coworker.

 

It Can Lead to HR Issues

 

Unwanted advances in the workplace can be taken as sexual harassment if you are not careful. So, if your relationship ended on rocky grounds, your prior sweetheart may interpret any action on your part as harassment, even if your intention isn’t to engage with them and definitely not to harass them.

 

Sexual harassment at work is one of the worst problems that you could become entangled with following a workplace breakup. Going through the process of defending can be devastating to your work life and personal life.

 

Furthermore, a retaliation claim may arise. If either of you feels rejected, any perceived confrontation in the future between the two of you could lead to accusations of retaliation.

 

Even if these claims of harassment or retaliation are hyperbolic, an investigation can be costly and time-consuming and can even lead to you having to take time off work when you can’t afford to do so. Additionally, it can damage your reputation and career.

 

So, think about what you’re doing before seeking a romantic relationship while at the job with that gorgeous coworker.

 

Closing Comments

 

Dating a work colleague can be risky business. If you’re thinking about it, weigh the pros and cons carefully. It’s important to carefully consider how your workplace romance could affect your work performance, professional reputation, and personal life

 

This includes your work life while on the job during the romance stage, during a potential breakup, and any legal (HR) post-breakup issues that may arise. 

 

So, if after much thought, you and your sweetheart co-worker decide to have a romantic relationship, I suggest you be very discreet. You should be careful not to talk about your crush. It’s important to not show off in front of your colleagues. Your colleagues shouldn’t know about your relationship unless you have a mutual agreement to do so.

 

However, I advise you to keep everyone in the dark. But also know you are walking in a field of landmines, and I wish you the best of luck in such an endeavor.

I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess
Your Christian Life Coach
AND I believe in YOU!

 

If you like what you mentally, now see, join my website to learn and think like me at StoicMatchmaker.com.

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