Do they deserve someone better than you? - Stoic Matchmaker

Do they deserve someone better than you?

Do they deserve someone better than you?

March 23, 2022

It started out as a typical Monday at the office. You know the routine – get your cup of coffee and begin opening that dreaded email attempting to click off on those easy items first.

But it didn’t happen that way.

The inbox is loaded with red exclamation marks. And it’s not on just one topic. It’s three different topics, ….no four, oops five. Oh my, there are seven topics I need to address NOW.

So you push. You push hard, to be that great employee. After a few hours, you’re exhausted and it’s not even lunchtime yet. And then it happens.

You notice there’s an innocent email, buried among the others, announcing a higher position that the company is offering in a division you want to be in, and the offer closes in two days.

Your mind is no longer fresh, you’re worn out, and feel you can’t handle what you currently have in front of you, much less find the time to apply for this new position. So you begin that internal degradation.  The degradation of your own self and your capabilities.

On reflection, you ask yourself, “Ever notice how insecurity in oneself arises when you’re under stress? Ever notice that others around you who have less work than you are the ones applying for the new positions? Don’t they have any insecurities? Maybe they don’t or have relatively few when they’re not stressed.”

You realize that we’ve been raised to not accept degradation from others.  As the saying goes “Treat others as you want to be treated”. We should be lifting each other up not putting each other down. And if you allow degrading behavior from others, they will think they have permission to treat you badly.

On reflection you ask, “But what if the person degrading me is ME? If I allow degrading behavior from myself, will I begin to think I have permission to treat myself badly?”

Ever heard the saying, “We’re our own worst enemy”? How about Walt Kelly’s phrase–“We have met the enemy and the enemy is us”.

For you, you’ve found you have to keep your guard up against yourself, even more so than worrying about the degrading behavior of others. If you let my guard down against yourself, then you find it’s easy for others to treat you unfairly. In the end, you become very small and cannot give your whole self to the world.

So you tell yourself, “Respect is very important in our everyday life of dealing with everyone and that includes dealing with myself. And when under great stress, that’s when I must strengthen my guard against myself. For God put ME on this Earth because He knew I was worthy. I believe it is a privilege for me to be here because I’m  that special gift for helping others.

Oh. Regarding that job announcement. You decided to apply. You knew you could handle stress without degrading yourself.

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) Do you feel the division in your company you really want to work for deserves a better person than you? Are you in a relationship where you feel the person that you have feelings for deserves a better person than you?
(T) “Life is very short. Insecurity is a waste of time.” Diane Von Fursenberg
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Book of Joshua
(O)When doubting myself of my own self-worth, I thought about how God put me on this Earth because He thought I was worthy.
(I) I realized to be put on this Earth is a privilege – a special gift to help others
(C) I improved my confidence and self-image realizing I’m here for a higher goal, a goal much higher than trying to merely figure out my self-worth.

The Stoicess’ Secret?
Stop Wasting Time- There’s No-one Better Than You

 

 

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