Don’t let the outside control your inside - Stoic Matchmaker

Don’t let the outside control your inside

Don’t let the outside control your inside

April 25, 2022

Once upon a time, you wanted to become a leader to others. You wanted to be that example person – that someone for others to look up to – that someone for others to strive to be like. However, you suffered from what the old folks call ‘stinkin thinkin’, negative thinking, having a poor self-image of oneself.

It’s not difficult to see how this could happen particularly with such negative energies all around us. We try our best not to let the negativity received from others break our barrier as we fulfill our mission, but we fail repeatedly, because we’re simply too concerned about what others think of us.

Let’s start with the small stuff, the wax on wax off, before we address the real challenges.

You ask, “Ladies, should I wear the red shoes or black shoes with the outfit I have on? Does the jacket match? Do you think the heavy jewelry looks better or go simple with the daintier?”

And while the Gentlemen are rolling their eyes at this point, there were a few questions you asked them. “What vehicle are you going to be driving tonight to impress the guys when us Ladies are with you? A Ford Fiesta or a Maserati? Which watch? A Timex or aLange & Söhne ?”

So, you think to yourself, “We willingly, or should I say eagerly, allow others (those outers) to change our innards— how we feel out ourselves – our self-confidence, self-worth when addressing the small stuff.”

Now the more difficult.

The customer yells and calls you stupid when you’re doing your best to help them. The company VP’s response is condescending toward you after you gave tremendous insight.

For you, you came to the realization that you had to stop worrying about what you perceive others think about you or actually say to you. You demanded of yourself that you would think positively about yourself, that others negative words toward you would be ignored.

The outcome of your change? “What you achieved inwardly changed your outer reality”. You’re now a good leader having strong self-confidence in yourself because you lead from the inside – your side.

The outer reality?
You are constantly told by others that they see a change in you. And you see the change as well, because others treat you much differently than before. You found that once the inner improves, the outer follows, which then makes your reality (for both your innards and those outers) a much better place to be.

So, you decided to start your journey in living your life from the inside and being that great leader that you’re destined to be.

Oh, by the way, you tell the ladies and gents, “Ladies, your shoes look awesome! And Gentlemen, a Ford Fiesta is fine with us Ladies because we’re with you (and not the car) and those other guys know it.”

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) I needed to gain my self-respect to move forward in my career.
(T) “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch
(O) Once I was able to get rid of stinkin thinkin, I was able to see clearly and move forward.
(I) Being able to think positively on the inside about myself came through on the outside to others.
(C) I improved my inner self by refusing to allow negativity about myself to exist in my mind which, in turn, provided a barrier of protection from others’ cruelty.

The Stoicess’ Secret?
Don’t Let The Outers Control Your Innards…That Stinkin Thinkin!

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