Don’t let the outside control your inside

Don’t let the outside control your inside

April 25, 2022

Once upon a time, I wanted to become a leader to others. I wanted to be that example person – that someone for others to look up to – that someone for others to strive to be like. However, I suffered from what the old folks call ‘stinkin thinkin’, negative thinking, having a poor self-image of oneself.

It’s not difficult to see how this could happen particularly with such negative energies all around us. We try our best not to let the negativity received from others break our barrier as we fulfill our mission, but we fail repeatedly, because we’re simply too concerned about what others think of us.

Let’s start with the small stuff, the wax on wax off, before we address the real challenges.

Ladies, should I wear the red shoes or black shoes with the outfit I have on? Does the jacket match? Do you think the heavy jewelry looks better or go simple with the daintier?

And while the Gentlemen are rolling their eyes at this point, here’s a few questions for you. What vehicle are you going to be driving tonight to impress the guys when us Ladies are with you? A Ford Fiesta or a Maserati? Which watch? A Timex or aLange & Söhne ?

So we willingly, or should I say eagerly, allow others (those outers) to change our innards— how we feel out ourselves – our self-confidence, self-worth when addressing the small stuff.

Now the more difficult.

The customer yells and calls you stupid when you’re doing your best to help them. The company VP’s response is condescending toward you after you gave tremendous insight.

My people, it’s time for a change.
For me, I came to the realization that I had to stop worrying about what I perceive others think about me or actually say to me. I demanded of myself that I would think positively about myself, that others negative words toward me would be ignored.

The outcome of my change? “What I achieved inwardly changed my outer reality”. I’m now a good leader having strong self-confidence in myself because I lead from the inside – my side.

The outer reality?
I am constantly told by others that they see a change in me. And I see the change as well, because others treat me much differently than before. I found that once the inner improves, the outer follows, which then makes my reality (for both my innards and those outers) a much better place to be.

So, start your journey today in living your life from the inside and being that great leader that you’re destined to be.

Oh, by the way, “Ladies, your shoes look awesome!”
And Gentlemen, “A Ford Fiesta is fine with us Ladies because we’re with you (and not the car) and those other guys know it.”

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) I needed to gain my self-respect to move forward in my career.
(T) “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Plutarch
(O) Once I was able to get rid of stinkin thinkin, I was able to see clearly and move forward.
(I) Being able to think positively on the inside about myself came through on the outside to others.
(C) I improved my inner self by refusing to allow negativity about myself to exist in my mind which, in turn, provided a barrier of protection from others’ cruelty.

The Stoicess’ Secret?
Don’t Let The Outers Control Your Innards…That Stinkin Thinkin!

Remember: “It’s the Situation Keeping My Connection with Him”.

I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess, and I believe in You!

Here’s the video link if you’d like to watch:

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