Fear of Mistakes - Stoic Matchmaker

Fear of Mistakes

Fear of Mistakes

July 25, 2022

Fear of Mistakes

“I’m always afraid I’m going to make a mistake and when I make a mistake, others won’t let me forget the mistake I made”, is a line you’ve heard many say before.

You are becoming close with another and begin thinking the two of you have “a thing going on”. So you take the next step and put yourself “out there”, testing the water, so to speak, to see if the other is ready to take the next step in your relationship. You slide a card into their locker at work on Valentine’s day and “bear your soul” to them. You then wait in excited anticipation for their response. However, the response you received was NOT what you expected. You see, the personal feelings you shared for “their eyes only” was made public when they tacked your Valentine card to the bulletin board with their response. “NO WAY!,” with a black marker was the writing on the card. You are so embarrassed.  Even worse, while standing there looking at that card, some of your colleagues start making fun of you. AND you know, they’ll never, ever, let you forget the mishap.

For you, when facing such mistakes, you tell myself that you did right by putting myself out there in order to gain confidence in yourself.  You don’t want to be that person who always lives in fear of making mistakes simply because others may make fun of you. You tell myself, “The world can be cruel, but let’s face it, no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. This is how we learn.” Also, sometimes, in addition to learning, you’ve found that a wonderful surprise awaits you as it did in this case. 

So, what was the learning and your surprise?
You learned that
good people are also watching you. In this case, while the others were being cruel, another colleague kindly took down the card and said, “I think you meant this card for me. How about dinner tonight?” It was one of the most memorable dinners you’ve ever had.  


Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) I’m always afraid I’m going to make a mistake and when I make a mistake, others won’t let me forget the mistake I made.
(T) “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” Babe Ruth
(O) I decided that it’s better to take a chance and fail, than NOT take a chance at all.
(I) I realized that making mistakes is how we learn in life and sometimes wonderful surprises follow.
(C) The character trait that I improved on was being brave.


The Stoicess’ Secret?
Making mistakes may lead to a wonderful surprise.


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