Am I Not Good Enough for Them? - Stoic Matchmaker

Am I Not Good Enough for Them?

Am I Not Good Enough for Them?

August 29, 2022

We’ve all faced breakups and afterward find ourselves going down that mental rabbit hole of placing blame. “Why did this happen?” you ask yourself. They said, “I would find someone better.” Did they really mean those words? The either/or question of “who is to blame” we pose to ourselves is based on a logical fallacy of oversimplification. Why? Because nature sometimes hands us things in shades of gray. There is no clear answer.  

However, after a bit of deep introspection, you decided to not allow yourself to be distracted by thoughts of assigning blame. Instead, you focused on moving forward in a positive way, attempting to learn something from the prior relationship in order to make yourself even better for the next relationship. Because when you are good enough for yourself, what they do really doesn’t matter.

So, now when someone tells you, “You will find someone better than me”, you smile and tell yourself, “Someday, someone else, will find the Better Me!”

 

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:


(S) If someone breaks up with me, does it mean I’m not good enough for them or they aren’t good enough for me? 
(T) “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Book of Psalm
(O) I decided not to concentrate on whose fault it was for the breakup and look to better times to come. 
(I) I realized by not focusing on the negative and instead focusing on the positive, that life would bring me happiness. 
(C) The character trait I improved was confidence and resilience.

The Stoicess’ Secret?
The phrase “You’ll find someone better” really means “someone else will find the Better Me.”

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