How To Trust After Betrayal

How To Trust After Betrayal

February 16, 2022

The moment you find out that your significant other betrayed your trust with someone else, it can feel like a complete erosion of everything you knew about them. You can feel hurt, confused, and utterly lost. However, after that initial betrayal, you might feel as though you still want to trust them again. You want to make your relationship whole again. Can you?

The decision is entirely yours to make, and no one can ever tell you otherwise. However, before you chase headlong after that, there are a few things you need to consider. 

Do They Still Want Your Trust?

The first thing you have to ask before you attempt any reconciliation is whether or not they’re also willing to make the journey with you. If they truly aren’t remorseful for their actions, then it would be kinder to both of you to end the relationship.

Why Did They Break Your Trust?

A vital part of the journey to forgiveness is understanding why they betrayed you. Was there something in your relationship that was missing? Did they have needs that you didn’t fulfill? How long were they unfulfilled? Was their attachment to the other person emotional or physical? Learning the answers to these questions can help you sort out your feelings.

Can You Forgive Them and Not Hold It Against Them?

After you’ve learned why they did it, reflect on whether or not you can forgive them for it. Jesus wants you to forgive people that sinned against you just as God forgives your sins, but when you’ve been deeply wronged, it can be difficult to put it into practice. That’s okay — it’s only human to struggle. To forgive is to release them from blame. However, moving forward, trust becomes a more pressing issue. If you truly cannot trust them, then it’s okay to let them go.  

First Steps To Get Started

To build trust again, you want to ensure that your relationship has a strong foundation. If you don’t address the problems that caused the betrayal in the first place, it may just happen again. If you find it difficult to handle the conversation yourself, counseling can provide an objective mediator that sees both sides.  Remember that asking for help isn’t shameful — trust is a fragile, precious thing, and you want to make sure that you treat it with care.

Remember: “It’s the Situation Keeping My Connection with Him”.

I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess, and I believe in You!

Here’s the video link if you’d like to watch it: https://youtu.be/Rh4nBJxqgk0

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