Integrity – Stoic Matchmaker



June 27, 2022

You met as colleagues at work. You’ve been dating for almost a year now. He’s really handsome, witty, and you’ve always enjoyed the creativity of his imagination. That is until a few weeks ago.

You see, he presented a task to you, a task related to both your jobs, asking for your help to “grease the skids” as the old folk say to get him what he wanted. The problem was that if someone was caught in the middle following a mess-up, that someone was likely you!

You said,I feel this is possibly not right. I’m uncomfortable with being asked to do what you want.” “Oh, you’ll be fine,” he said.  “You won’t get into any trouble.” You gazed at him with a puzzled look. He ended by saying, “But don’t you love me?” Those words, “But, don’t you love me.” It’s words like these that strike the heart, hitting us at our very core. The words kept echoing in you mind as you left his presence that evening.

The next day, you took time to research and analyze his request, trying to find our employer’s current rules on the topic. Things do change over time on what is and isn’t acceptable. Processes also change on the job site, and you needed to review the latest information for reaching your decision.

When meeting him at lunchtime, you pointed out that the directive was clearly unethical. You also told him you found a different path to reach his goal; however, the path did require more work on his part. He stared at you for a moment, shook his head, and said, “OK”, but then asked, “Why could you not simply do what I asked?” You responded, “Because the job of maintaining my integrity ultimately falls upon me Alone.”

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) My beloved asked me to do something unethical. 

(T) “It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.” Seneca
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Book of Proverbs
(O) I asked my beloved to clarify exactly what he wanted me to do and then did my research to find the current rules on the activity.
(I)I realized that by searching the current literature, I could gain a better understanding of why the request was unethical and possibly find another way to accomplish the request.
(C) The character trait I improved was to be confident and transparent with a love one while maintaining my self-esteem.

The Stoicess’ Secret?
Your integrity falls on you alone.

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