Love Ship Cruising - Stoic Matchmaker

Love Ship Cruising

Love Ship Cruising

October 10, 2022

Keep Your Lovin’ Ship Cruising

A friend of your partner came upon hard times and needed a place to float while getting on their feet. You knew of their closeness with your partner and agreed to let the partner’s friend stay for a while.  As the weeks passed, you saw that little effort was being made by the friend to leave your nest. 

One evening on returning home from an exhausting day at work, the two of them were playing video games. You asked your partner, “Didn’t you go to work today?” The response was, “I needed a day off to enjoy the reunited friendship with my best friend”. You almost blew a gasket but maintained your composure knowing that docking day for departure from the ship was about to happen.

For you had made an agreement with your partner to allow the friend to live with you on a short-term basis while working out the next steps in their life. And that agreement had a due date of tomorrow for enforcement. As you left the room, you thought about how we all want to help others when they are down, but such help cannot be at our own expense. Everyone needs to pull their weight when living on the same ship. Otherwise, you and your partner’s ship is going to sink when change occurs. 

So how did you deal with your partner over this?

That night you tell your partner you are glad we were able to help the friend in their time of need. However, you give a reminder that the agreed-upon departure date from the ship for our passenger is tomorrow at noon and if the passenger doesn’t leave, then the ship’s co-captain … YOU… would be departing instead and OUR Lovin’ Ship would run aground.

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) My partner’s best friend has been living with us for a month and has no plans on leaving, what should I do?
(T) “Change is not always a bad thing: it sometimes takes the form of progress. And is not always a good thing: it sometimes takes the form of regress.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Book of Ecclesiastes
(O) I decided that our initial agreed-upon timeline needed to be enforced.
(I) I realized that I could upset one or two people by enforcing the agreement, but not doing so would likely be a loss for our relationship.
(C) The character trait that I improved was being firm with a previous agreement made.


The Stoicess’ Secret?

Setting expectations early keeps OUR Lovin’ Ship cruising.

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