Should I Nickel & Dime My Partner? - Stoic Matchmaker

Should I Nickel & Dime My Partner When Chores Aren’t Completed?

Should I Nickel & Dime My Partner When Chores Aren’t Completed?

September 19, 2022

Should I Nickel & Dime My Partner When Chores Aren’t Completed?

Congratulations! You’ve found that perfect person. You’re engaged and planning the wedding together. It’s the most wonderful time of your lives, that is, until the nickel and diming begins. “UH OH,” you say, “Here comes the money issue!” However, it’s not money that’s the issue. It’s the assignment of chores – that bucket full of those small tasks needing to be done to pull off the greatest wedding ever.

It’s no secret that one partner will likely wind up doing more of the chores than the other. But when partners become double-entry bookkeepers, adding up every chore they’ve done compared to you, your relationship just may be headed for trouble.

For you, striving for that 50-50 relationship is not enough. The fact is, you both should give 150% for things to work out correctly, and you have that expectation of yourself. So, what about that partner you can’t control?  What do you do when you find they’re not giving 150%?

On the flip side, you don’t want your partner to think you’re someone who nickels and dimes at every corner and neither do you want to teach them to become the same. So, you will be reasonable, maintain a long-term view, and are willing to let things slide somewhat. Because sometimes, you know your relationship gains more in the long term from that single interaction – giving a freebie – than it does from a harsh scolding.   

 

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) Should I nickel and dime my partner when chores aren’t completed?
(T) “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” Epictetus
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Apostle Paul
(O) We both must do our part if we plan on building a life together.
(I) I can only control what I do to make the relationship blossom.
(C) I learned to take control of my own actions– and not nickel and dime my partner for theirs.

 

The Stoicess’ Secret?
When you nickel and dime, give a freebie sometimes.

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