May 1, 2024
You’re faced with a big decision on whether to accept that new job offer located out of town. It will be a 50% raise for you and with your newborn son, your husband and you could use the additional funds. However, merely mentioning this opportunity was a showstopper for your husband. He gave a flat out “No” and refuses to discuss the opportunity. You think his negativity may be that his mother and father may be left behind. And he has a best friend known since childhood that you know he would miss if the two of you left town. In short, it’s a toss-up regarding what’s disturbing him. How do you get him to the table to address as reasonable adults?
In relationships, disagreements are bound to arise, and it can be challenging when your beloved doesn’t agree with you. Notwithstanding, approaching conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner is crucial for maintaining a strong and thriving relationship. Everyone knows communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. Understanding each other’s needs, desires, and concerns is paramount. And with your boyfriend’s refusal to talk, you are in a difficult situation.
From training with the Stoicess, you’ve learned a few tips on how to overcome the current hurdle. First, you’ll actively listen over the next several days to see if he mentions this touchy subject. If he does, you will not interrupt and will show genuine interest in his statements because, at this time, you want to understand his perspective. Also, active listening demonstrates respect for his position.
As time progresses, you’ll choose the right time and place to bring up the promotion again. You’ll wait until he is rested and pick a comfortable space where the two of you can have a focused and uninterrupted conversation. You’ll also show empathy during the conversation by putting yourself in your husband’s shoes and try to understand his point of view. Underlying issues that you sense are present will require you to dig deeper to explore the root causes of his position. For you know that by learning these core concerns, you now have a foundation on which to work toward resolving the disagreement in a meaningful way.
Furthermore, non-verbal cues will play a significant role in your communication. You’ll maintain eye contact, use open body language, and nod or smile to show that you are actively engaged in the conversation. Such cues help create a sense of connection and facilitate understanding.
Lastly, sarcasm and defensiveness will be avoided because you know this is selfish behavior which can escalate the disagreement and undermine an effective discussion. You will focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings without attacking or belittling your partner as you remember that the goal is to find a resolution – not to prove who’s right or wrong.
As you cover these items in your mind, you realize this disagreement is another opportunity for growth and positive change within your relationship. By showing patience, understanding, and a willingness to find common ground, you can foster a relationship that is built on trust, respect, and mutual support. It’s a challenge you willingly accept to strengthen your bond and create a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:
(S) My partner never agrees with my decisions; what should I do?
(T) “If you can, show them the better way. If you cannot, remember that this is why you have the gift of kindness.” Marcus Aurelius
“A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all.” Apostle Paul
(O) I will be patient and kind when dealing with any disagreements.
(I) I realized these are the moments to strengthen our bond and create a more fulfilling relationship.
(C) The character trait I improved was having a genuine interest in my partner’s concerns.
Thank you for sharing your mind with me.
For your continued Success,
Hear MY Secret:
As your partner expresses disagreement, listen carefully and consider options for a general agreement.
Now RELAX ……CONTROL YOUR MIND….
and ‘Be as you wish to seem’ …..
EMPOWERED!
Remember: It’s the Situation Keeping My Connection with Him.
I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess
and I believe in You
October 7, 2024
October 2, 2024