Does Your Partner Refuse to Work?

Does Your Partner Refuse to Work?

February 10, 2022

Your Partner.

They were always so determined and mentally strong. You knew they were fit to be your trusted friend, partner, and spouse.

So, you took that leap forward and said, “I do.”

Refusing Work

Then one day, it happened. You were working on an excruciating report while at the office, and you get the text. “I’ve had enough,” says the text. “I quit my job this morning. I’ll be taking a well-deserved vacation from life until I figure out what I want.”

You can barely hold on to the phone. You think to yourself, “What am I going to do?” Bills have been tight enough lately, and now the Christmas bills are rolling in. And taxes will be due in a couple of months. Your head drops to the keyboard.

Mindset About Work

For me, whether in business or my personal life, when suffering looms, I look at whether the event is due to nature or a change in my partner’s attitude. Events due to nature are uncontrollable. Events due to a partner’s perspective are controllable by my partner.

For a controllable event—that change in my partner’s attitude—my focus turns to taking care of myself and withholding giving to them because my partner is no longer acting in the best interest of our two-person team.

Of course, my partner views my actions as a type of punishment. However, I inform them it is an act of love because I follow Pauls’ command, so you will return to being my partner—a true asset as you’ve always been—and not a liability.

As Apostle Paul eloquently states, “You yourselves know very well that you should do just what we did. We were not lazy when we were with you,” and, “if a man will not work, he shall not eat.”

Now Using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) How to deal with a partner who now feels they are a victim in life?

(T) “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” Apostle Paul

(O) I let the person know we all face difficulties but need to keep pushing to accomplish the mission at hand.
(I) I realize I can’t change the feelings of another, but I can change how I respond to their actions.

(C) The character trait I improved was my commitment to uphold the vow as stated and encourage my partner to do the same. 

The Stoicess’ Secret? For “better or worse” refers to events and NOT a change in one’s attitude.

Remember: “It’s the Situation Keeping My Connection with Him”.

I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess, and I believe in You!

Here’s the video link if you’d like to watch: https://youtu.be/NA17d37e000

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