Does Your Partner Refuse to Wor? - Stoic Matchmaker

Does Your Partner Refuse to Work?

Does Your Partner Refuse to Work?

February 10, 2022


Your Partner.

They were always so determined and mentally strong. You knew they were fit to be your trusted friend, partner, and spouse.

So, you took that leap forward and said, “I do.”

Refusing Work

Then one day, it happened. You were working on an excruciating report while at the office, and you get the text. “I’ve had enough,” says the text. “I quit my job this morning. I’ll be taking a well-deserved vacation from life until I figure out what I want.”

You can barely hold on to the phone. You think to yourself, “What am I going to do?” Bills have been tight enough lately, and now the Christmas bills are rolling in. And taxes will be due in a couple of months. Your head drops to the keyboard.

Mindset About Work

For you, whether in business or your personal life, when suffering looms, you look at whether the event is due to nature or a change in your partner’s attitude. Events due to nature are uncontrollable. Events due to a partner’s perspective are controllable by your partner.

For a controllable event—that change in your partner’s attitude—your focus turns to taking care of yourself and withholding giving to them because your partner is no longer acting in the best interest of your two-person team.

Of course, your partner views your actions as a type of punishment. However, you inform them it is an act of love because you follow Pauls’ command, so they will return to being your partner—a true asset as they’vee always been—and not a liability.

As Apostle Paul eloquently states, “You yourselves know very well that you should do just what we did. We were not lazy when we were with you,” and, “if a man will not work, he shall not eat.”

Now Using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) How to deal with a partner who now feels they are a victim in life?
(T) “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” Apostle Paul
(O) I let the person know we all face difficulties but need to keep pushing to accomplish the mission at hand.
(I) I realize I can’t change the feelings of another, but I can change how I respond to their actions.
(C) The character trait I improved was my commitment to uphold the vow as stated and encourage my partner to do the same. 

The Stoicess’ Secret?
For “better or worse” refers to events and NOT a change in one’s attitude.

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