Reawakening a Relationship with a Past Toxic, but Fun Friend

March 22, 2023

Reawakening a Relationship with a Past Toxic, but Fun Friend.

You’re at the top of your game. Job’s good. Money in the bank. The horizon looks bright. Everything’s under control in your life. So, what’s the problem? You’re bored! You’re looking for that fixer-upper.

You’ve thought about houses, but that’s more money and work than you’re willing to give.

When looking through your photo album and reminiscing old times, you smile when you see an old friend’s photo. Excitement takes hold of your mind. “What fun the two of you had together”, you recall. “They always made me feel alive. No one could tie us down. We were living on the edge”, you think to yourself. “Maybe it’s time I reach out to them – rekindle our relationship and let the good times begin!”

However, from training with the Stoicess, you know how to reel your mind back in when it goes off on some tangent. And when facing such moments of exhilaration, you let the entire scenario play out in your mind. You think about what it will be like when the two of you first meet again and how the relationship will unfold.

As the progression occurs, your mind remembers what you faced before – those events that caused you to run away from the relationship as quickly as you could. For you realize the attraction was that neither of you were ready to commit, and that meant committing to each other as well.

You remember riding together to events but you being left to find your own way home. Another was being placed into situations you were told the two of you were doing together, but you were left with the duties to fulfill on your own while your friend was nowhere to be found. What was funny to them was traumatizing to you.

Thus, the relationship that started with excitement took its toll. A nightmare ensued, instead of a dream come true. The final breakup was lengthy, bitter, and exhausting. It would have been easier to sell a fixer-upper house for a loss and walk away, than deal with the daily drama of that breakup.

So, after playing the scenario in your mind, you shake your head, say “No thank you” and close the photo album with a smile, knowing your little escapade into fantasy land was more than enough to return you to reality. Such drama—the “drams” as they’re called—are not for you.

Now using My S-T-O-I-C Storytelling Meditation method:

(S) Should I reach out to a past friend that I still think about who was somewhat toxic but fun?
(T) “Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as not to injure future ones.” Seneca
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” Book of Proverbs
(O) I decided not to reconnect.
(I) I realized there was a reason I disconnected in the first place and know it was the best decision.
(C) The character trait I improved is maintaining self-control when excitement enters my thoughts.

The Stoicess’ Secret:

To reexperience the past, a nightmare may ensue instead of a dream come true.

I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess
Your Christian Life Coach
AND I believe in YOU!

If you like what you mentally, now see, join my website to learn and think like me at StoicMatchmaker.com.