Don’t Let Past Memories Destroy Current Blessings - Stoic Matchmaker

Don’t Let Past Memories Destroy Current Blessings

Don’t Let Past Memories Destroy Current Blessings

September 12, 2022

When in a Relationship, Don’t Let Past Memories Destroy Your Current Blessings

You had another wonderful day together, your partner and you. But as the evening came to a close, your partner uttered words that shook the very ground on which you stood. The words? “I’m having feelings for my Ex.”

Your mind immediately goes into overdrive. You put up the barriers – the shields to protect yourself. You push your partner away. You don’t want to hear anything else they have to say.
You’re mad, hurt, your self-worth has been poisoned. Soon afterward that old gnawing feeling of jealousy creeps in. You think, “Am I not good enough? What did the Ex do that I’m not doing? How could they even think of comparing me to that monster?”

Although the above scenario is true for most, you take a different path. For you, you think back to the words of Marcus Aurelius– words that remind you that we all have choices and that includes both your partner as well as you. So, when your partner shared their thought, you shared yours as well. 

You said, “Let me give you a piece of Marcus’s mind. Marcus suggests we both count the blessings we actually possess today and think how much we would desire them if they weren’t already ours. And know that you’re not alone in having such thoughts.” “However, whenever I begin to miss any of my Exes when those past memories of our good times come to mind, I consider Marcus’s words deeply and every time, I reach the same decision to stay with you simply because I desire your trust and acceptance more.” For as Apostle Paul stated, ““But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.”

 

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) My partner says he has feelings for his ex. How should I respond?
(T) “Count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours.” Marcus Aurelius
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Apostle Paul
(O) I decided that only my partner could address those feelings.
(I) I realized that we all have feelings for people that we once cared for in our lives.
(C) The character trait that I improved was understanding.

 

The Stoicess’ Secret?

When in a relationship, don’t let past memories destroy your current blessings.  

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