When Another Cannot Outdo You - Stoic Matchmaker

When Another Cannot Outdo You

When Another Cannot Outdo You

November 14, 2022

They were one of your closest friends. At least up to yesterday.
While you were in the coffee shop together having brunch, a beautiful suitor you both have been eyeing from afar stopped over and chatted a bit.  After leaving, you both knew you were being considered for a date. However, you each acted as if nothing happened.

Today, you stopped back by the coffee shop for a quick cup to go. The suitor was there but barely noticed your existence. You took a bold approach and asked how they were doing, but the response was shocking. The suitor said your friend from yesterday told things about you last night that were discomforting and any interest that may have been between you two was gone. Being at a loss for words, you shake your head and leave the shop. As you walk on the sidewalk, you’re hurt, confused, and angry.

For you, when facing similar events, you quickly realize degrading comments like these are simply a powerplay. It’s someone lashing out and undermining you because of fear you may outperform them. Most times it’s because the person is not happy with themselves and is jealous of you, so the only way they know how to compete, is to cut you down. And although you may want to jump into the mud pit with them and give it back, you take no pride in knowing there will be an audience watching to see how this is going to play out.

So instead, you remain silent and watchful – being patient while the fairness process works its way forward. Because you know the truth will be brought to light with time.

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) How do I deal with someone who degrades me when they cannot outdo me?
(T) “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” Apostle Paul
(O) I decided not to worry about what the other person was doing.
(I) I realized that I’m not in competition with them and that I’m competing in being a better me.
(C) The character trait that I improved was treating others the way that I would want to be treated.

The Stoicess’ Secret:

When degraded by another, time is your best friend to bring truth about the other.


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