Dating – Stoic Matchmaker

Fear Your Attractive Person Will Leave You Fear Your Attractive Person Will Leave You

Fear Your Attractive Person Will Leave You

You finally got the catch you wanted. Gorgeous, mind-blowing. Their very presence with you makes you walk a few feet taller. That is until another looks upon them and appears to catch their eye. You become jealous and worried, and you think “how long before I’ll lose my chosen beauty”?

For you, you’ve realized that the eyes do the searching but one’s mind does the securing.  You see, you hold this person’s presence, their attention, and their dedication to you because you give them mentally what they need.

And what’s that you give?  “It’s wisdom, self-confidence, and your trust.” You train daily to build your mind, gaining wisdom to command your surroundings, and the self-confidence to triumph over any unknown. And you share these strengths with your Beauty, building that trust between the two of you that no other can match. 

So while others may say “There goes Beauty and the Whatever”, you and yours know it’s “Beauty and the Mental Beast” and you are their Champion.

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) How do you get over the fear that the attractive person you are seeing has more options than you do and will choose someone else?
(T) “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this and you will have strength”. Marcus Aurelius
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” Book of 1 John
(O) I decided not to let such thoughts take over my mind as I keep moving forward in gaining self-confidence.
(I) Once I realized that I had no control over what another does, I continued my journey of wisdom. 
(C) The character trait I improved was viewing myself as a mental champion. 

The Stoicess’ Secret?
When dating out of your league, realize Only YOU have what they need.

Speed Dating Speed Dating

Speed Dating

Have You Heard of Speed Dating?

Have you ever been to a speed dating event? If not, you’re in for a treat! Speed dating is an enjoyable way of meeting people and maybe even finding someone special. If you’re a Christian, there’s no better place to do speed dating than at a church singles event. You’ll get to chat with many different people that share your religious views, and who knows — you might meet the love of your life.

What Is Speed Dating?

Speed dating is a relatively new phenomenon that has caught on in the dating world. It is a way for singles to meet potential partners in a fast-paced, fun environment. It’s a relatively large scheduled event in which single people meet a lot of prospective romantic matches in one place. Speed dating typically involves a group of singles gathering at a venue and rotating around while having a series of short conversations.

Who Organizes Speed Dating?

Speed dating is typically conducted as an event. These events can be organized by online dating companies, social clubs, or even individuals. They often take place at bars or restaurants. They may also include icebreaker games or other activities designed to help participants get to know each other.

How Does Speed Dating Work?

This event’s format consists of short face-to-face conversations (typically three to ten minutes in length) with each available match. These conversations can cover whatever the participants would like to talk about. If two people both express interest in one another, then they are given each other’s contact information so that they may arrange a future date.

Again, speed dating is a fun, easy way to meet new people and possibly find your perfect match. It can also be an excellent opportunity to practice your conversation skills. If you’re interested in speed dating, attend an event in your area. You never know who you might meet!

3 Tips for a Blind Date 3 Tips for a Blind Date

3 Tips for a Blind Date

3 Tips for a Blind Date

Blind dates can be nerve-wracking. You don’t know the individual well and since it’s the first time seeing each other, you may feel pressured to act a certain way. 

You may already know the other person’s basic information such as their name, age, profession, or friend group. You may have met through mutual friends or a small group. However, even if you know a little about them, the wait before the date can wear on you. 

Here are some tips to get out of your head, help you relax, and enjoy your upcoming date:  

1. Don’t Expect Anything

Are you expecting to be swept off your feet by your date’s depth and wisdom the first time you meet? Do you expect to have interesting conversations from the get-go? These are high expectations to put on another person and can lead to disappointment. 

Go into the date with zero expectations. Instead, have fun and go with the flow. 

2. Don’t Get Too Personal 

If things are going well, it can be easy to gloss over the fact that you’re not even together yet. It’s important to get to know them, but avoid asking extremely personal or invasive questions. This goes both ways — don’t overshare just because they’re a good listener. 

If you’d like to address a potentially personal topic, ask them if they’re comfortable discussing it. Don’t pressure them to open up too fast; some people take more time to get comfortable than others. Take things slow and see where it leads. 

3. Have Fun!

Before going on a date, create the mindset that you’re going to have fun. Learn more about this person, and who knows — you could click well. Don’t put pressure on it, after all, they could just become a new friend. They may not be your future spouse, and that’s okay. Enjoy the date, stay relaxed, and be yourself. 

Ending the Date

If everything goes well and both of you enjoy yourselves, you can use this line: “I’d love to do this again. What are you doing next week?” But only say it if you mean it. Keep following these tips and enjoy yourself!

Lessons from the Prodigal (Part 3) Lessons from the Prodigal (Part 3)

Lessons from the Prodigal (Part 3)

Lessons from the Prodigal (Part 3)

 

In the third part of our journey through the story of the prodigal, we arrive at a place where the tables turn for the younger son. He had thought about moving far away from his father. He had the audacity to ask his father for his share of the inheritance, and then boldly went to the far country to pursue reckless living.

 

However, now in verse 14, the Bible says, “And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.”

 

It’s not an outlier that sin took everything he had. His riotous living had resulted in the loss of all of his inheritance. If you’re a Christian, you should think about that. You have been gifted to make an impact in this world for the kingdom of God. There are rewards for your faithful service waiting for you after this life, but if you spend your days toiling in sin, then you are being robbed of the great acts of service you could accomplish for God, and losing the inheritance that was supposed to be for you on the other side. In fact, the Bible says that you “should examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith.” (2nd Corinthians 13:5). 

 

 Sin will devour everything positive in your life and leave you with nothing, whether sinner or saved. The younger son spent everything he had and interestingly enough, his circumstances became quite desperate at this point. 

 

A mighty famine came into the land and he began to be in want. The Bible says in verse 15, “he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.” He does the only thing he can do. “Joined himself” is an interesting phrase. It means he sold himself into slavery. To put even more emphasis on it, he sold himself into slavery to do the will of a Gentile. This would definitely rile up the audience that Jesus told this parable to since the Jews were under Gentile control by the Romans, but that’s another story. 

 

What does this new master make him do? Feed pigs, which for a Jew, a pig is an unclean animal under the law (Deuteronomy 14:8, Leviticus 11:7). This was a detestable act for the younger son.

 

Doing that meant he was desperate to stoop to that level willingly. He was paid so little that he longed to eat the pig’s food (verse 16). To top it all off, “no man gave him anything.” Once his wealth was gone, so were his “friends”. Alone, in need, desperate, unhappy, and broken is the position of the younger son. It’s a familiar position to anyone who runs away from the Father and lives in sin.

 

However, there is good news coming. Next time, we will examine an important lesson for the younger son that anyone can apply to find salvation and restoration. Stay tuned. 

How to Diffuse an Argument How to Diffuse an Argument

How to Diffuse an Argument

How to Diffuse an Argument

Arguments — we’ve all been there. No matter what the argument was about, it probably didn’t feel very good. In fact, it probably only left you feeling frustrated, angry, and exhausted. If only we all knew how to diffuse an argument before it even started. 

With the tips below, you’ll have ways to take the sizzle out of a heated conversation and keep the peace in your home.

Stay Calm and Rational

This one is easier said than done. Just take a moment and assess the situation. Yelling will only make the situation worse and make it harder to resolve, so take a deep breath and try to keep your cool.

Listen to What the Other Person Is Saying 

Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and try to see things from their perspective. It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own point of view and ignore what the other person is saying, but if you can take a step back and really listen to what they’re saying, you may be able to find some common ground.

Don’t Bring Up Past Arguments or Criticize Your Partner

If you want to diffuse an argument, you need to focus on the here and now. Bringing up past arguments will only make things worse, so focus on the present and try to find a way to move forward.

Offer a Compromise if Possible

If you’re both willing to budge a little, it may be possible to find a solution that satisfies everyone. This isn’t always possible, but it’s worth trying if it means diffusing the argument.

Above All, Respect One Another

Next time an argument starts to brew, take a step back and remember these four tips. They may not always work, but it’s always better to focus on repairing things instead of focusing on “winning”. After all, does anyone really win if it damages your relationship?

Fear of Mistakes Fear of Mistakes

Fear of Mistakes

Fear of Mistakes

“I’m always afraid I’m going to make a mistake and when I make a mistake, others won’t let me forget the mistake I made”, is a line you’ve heard many say before.

You are becoming close with another and begin thinking the two of you have “a thing going on”. So you take the next step and put yourself “out there”, testing the water, so to speak, to see if the other is ready to take the next step in your relationship. You slide a card into their locker at work on Valentine’s day and “bear your soul” to them. You then wait in excited anticipation for their response. However, the response you received was NOT what you expected. You see, the personal feelings you shared for “their eyes only” was made public when they tacked your Valentine card to the bulletin board with their response. “NO WAY!,” with a black marker was the writing on the card. You are so embarrassed.  Even worse, while standing there looking at that card, some of your colleagues start making fun of you. AND you know, they’ll never, ever, let you forget the mishap.

For you, when facing such mistakes, you tell myself that you did right by putting myself out there in order to gain confidence in yourself.  You don’t want to be that person who always lives in fear of making mistakes simply because others may make fun of you. You tell myself, “The world can be cruel, but let’s face it, no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. This is how we learn.” Also, sometimes, in addition to learning, you’ve found that a wonderful surprise awaits you as it did in this case. 

So, what was the learning and your surprise?
You learned that
good people are also watching you. In this case, while the others were being cruel, another colleague kindly took down the card and said, “I think you meant this card for me. How about dinner tonight?” It was one of the most memorable dinners you’ve ever had.  

 

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) I’m always afraid I’m going to make a mistake and when I make a mistake, others won’t let me forget the mistake I made.
(T) “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” Babe Ruth
(O) I decided that it’s better to take a chance and fail, than NOT take a chance at all.
(I) I realized that making mistakes is how we learn in life and sometimes wonderful surprises follow.
(C) The character trait that I improved on was being brave.

 

The Stoicess’ Secret?
Making mistakes may lead to a wonderful surprise.

 

How to Choose a Church How to Choose a Church

How to Choose a Church

How to Choose a Church

Churches help people find their meaning and purpose, so it’s essential to learn how to choose a church that lets you fulfill your earthly mission. With hundreds of thousands active in the country, how do you find the best one? 

Read on for practical tips for deciding on your ideal church.

Theology

First, find out what the church preaches. It should match your faith, beliefs, and values. Its website should have its history, doctrinal beliefs, and statement of faith.

Advancing the Kingdom of God

Churches with similar faiths may spread God’s word in different ways. Some recommend carrying the Bible everywhere while others focus on sharing faith-based movies, music, and books. Whichever church you choose, make sure they are active in advancing the kingdom

Community Groups

Next, ask how the church forms community groups — are they formed by age, stage of life, or neighborhood? The most critical factor to consider is what space you will be fitting in. 

Worship Style

Different worship styles include prayer, meditation, song, informal worship, private worship, and various combinations of the above. Whatever makes you feel closest to God is the ideal style for you. 

Diversity

God’s message of salvation includes diversity, making it a crucial factor in your decision. To be Christian is to have compassion for all races, genders, and ages.

Mission

Lastly, check out the church’s mission statement. It should be compelling enough to move and inspire you into action. 

Find the Right Support for Your Unique Journey

To serve God and spread His word as best as we can, we need to find a church community that provides us with the support and religious teachings that we need. Your search will become much easier when you stop looking for the “best” church as decided by someone else’s metrics and begin looking for the best church for you.

Why Are Christians Marrying Later? Why Are Christians Marrying Later?

Why Are Christians Marrying Later?

Why Are Christians Marrying Later?

Marriage is a sacrament in the Christian faith and is taken very seriously. Christians believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment. For these reasons and more, Christians often marry later in life.

Many Christians nowadays marry after completing their education, establishing their careers, and being financially stable. This wasn’t always the case. Christians used to marry young — often right after they turned 18. There are many reasons for this shift, but here are a few key reasons why Christians are now marrying later in life:

  1. Fear of commitment
  2. Loss of church community
  3. Change in standards for a good spouse
  4. Education takes priority
  5. Career comes first
  6. Delays in maturity
  7. Poverty
  8. Social media influences
  9. The idea of cohabitation
  10. Lack of guidance from previous generations
  11. Self-empowerment
  12. The need for mental stability
  13. Society’s demands for financial stability
  14. Differences in priorities
  15. More pressing global issues
  16. Decreasing value of marriage
  17. Being exposed to more worldly influences rather than Godly influences

Marriage, Now or Later?

Ultimately, the decision to marry later or earlier in life is a personal one. There are pros and cons to both. What’s important is that you make the best decision for yourself, your walk with the Lord, and your future spouse.

The common reasons Christians marry later are influenced by the changes in the world. But the Bible says that “he who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” (Proverbs 18:22). For many Christians, marriage is still a good thing, even if they’re choosing to marry later in life.

As a Christian, it is your responsibility to connect with God and strengthen your faith. It will help you discern His will for your life.

Pray for guidance and wait patiently. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it is not something to be taken lightly.

Rut of Distractions Rut of Distractions

Rut of Distractions

I Got Distracted.

It’s easy to get distracted with such beauty surrounding us, especially with social media and television tempting us. 

However, obsessing over beauty can quickly get in the way of staying focused on our goal—our journey of success. 

Additionally, much wealth and irreplaceable time have been lost “in the chase”.

 

Many spend their lives trying to update what they currently have for the next new model – isn’t the newest Corvette model the C8? —or dating the next newest person to be recognized as the most beautiful among us. The final discardment of the old for the new is a prime example of knowing how much time was lost….. because the time with the former cannot be transferred to the newer model. 

 

For you, when you see physical beauty, you remind myself to put your “eyes back into my head” and simply consider it a blessing that you have eyes to witness another beautiful creature of God’s creation. For mental beauty is what you are attracted to most. Mental beauty never fades. Mental beauty never becomes worn or rusted. Mental beauty continues to grow and mature each passing day. Mental beauty is not replaceable by the next new model.

 

So, as you see those others with such physical beauty that your head begins to spin, you hold the hand of the one you’re with—YOUR ONE—a little tighter. Because you know you both share that mental beauty that few have achieved, and you are both on a journey of success together!  

 

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

 

(S) I was in a rut of distractions, that physical beauty, keeping me from my goal.
(T) “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Book of Job
(O) I vowed to bring my mind back around to the task at hand when getting distracted by things unhelpful to my goal.
(I) Once I set a standard of seeking mental beauty to achieve my goal, I was able to stay focused.
(C) The character trait that I improved was determination.

 

The Stoicess’ Secret?
While gazing at physical beauty, keep an eye on your mind.

Overcoming Unbelief Overcoming Unbelief

Overcoming Unbelief

Overcoming Unbelief 

Tests of faith can come in many forms. For some, it may be a battle with cancer or the death of a loved one. Others may find their faith challenged by a different life-changing event, like losing a job or a divorce. No matter what form the test takes, the result is always the same for those who overcome: a stronger faith.

 

In times of hardship or trial, you often find yourself questioning God. What does He want you to remember in these moments?

“Everything is possible for one who believes.”

In the story in Mark 9:17-29, a father begs Jesus to heal his possessed son. The man is overcome with doubt, but Jesus tells him that all things are possible for those who believe. The father declares, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

This is a prayer to which we can all relate. You may not be facing demonic oppression, but you have your own doubts and fears. When you cry out to God for help, He wants you to know that His will is perfect, and that He will take care of all things in His own timing.

“Believe and not doubt.”

In James 1:5-6, God tells you that if you lack wisdom, you should ask Him for it. When you do so, you must believe that He will give you the wisdom you need, according to His own will. This principle can be applied to every area of our lives.

“I am with you.”

God said in Isaiah 41:10, “fear not, for I am with you.” This is a promise He gives to all of His children. When you are overcome with fear or anxiety, you can remember that God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you.

When we overcome our unbelief, we can see God more clearly. We may not understand how some things happen, but we trust that He knows what He is doing. So pray, and ask God to help you overcome your unbelief.