Finding Peace of Mind: How to Handle a “Yelling” Customer (The Stoicess’ Secret)

March 27, 2024

You know the drill. You’re at work, it’s midday and hectic. Your assistant tells you it’s Mr. Jones on the phone – the “yeller” as your assistant refers to them.

You begin to feel your heart pounding. Your stomach turns acid. Sweat runs from your forehead. You wonder how quickly you can get through this one today. It’s as if you are their entertainment for the day. They’ll threaten your job, infer what a low-life you are, demand the rest of your day be devoted to them, and don’t forget, they’ll want a full refund and some damages payment to make this right.

“Where do these people come from?,” you ask yourself. And since Covid, things have gotten worse. You heard a newscaster on the TV the other day refer to the situation as the “Pandemic Rage” which is causing customer-facing employees to burn out and quit retail in droves. In fact, this Mr. Jones, your current “yeller”, has caused two of your employees to walk off the job within the last six months. And Mr. Jones seemed pleased each time he heard the news.

From working with the Stoicess, you know that civility – that formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech used as we deal with one another – is on a steep decline. Folk like Mr. Jones are all about themselves.

Whatever carnage they leave in their path is for someone else to deal with. It’s like watching the person pitch out that empty McDonald’s bag into the parking lot from their car after finishing their lunch instead of finding a trash container. It’s all about them, and the world must adapt. The problem, though, is that there are too many in the neighborhood that are becoming like them, and the neighborhood is beginning to fall apart.

The Stoicess’ training has taught you how to stay in your own lane while being unaccepting of others who place themselves in front of you. You do not swerve to miss them. You may slow down some to assess the situation quickly, but you’ll hit them mentally head-on if they don’t get out of your way.

Therefore, Mr. Jones’ upcoming threat “to have your job” in order to get whatever redemption he wants, will have no impact on you. In fact, the bane of your existence is knowing you’ll always have a job in retail because you can handle any of the “Mr. Jones’s” you face. Because if one employer decides to let you go, there are several others waiting with bated breath for your job application.

On the other hand, you know how to handle Mr. Jones. He’s acting like a spoiled child, and once he knows he is unable to get anything over on you (such as having your job), the two of you can work through the issue.

So, you pick up the phone nonchalantly and nicely address Mr. Jones telling him what a wonderful day the weather is outside. As he begins the drill, starting with “how you don’t care”, you take down the information and tell him you’ll call him back with an answer. If he continues the berating, you repeat your message and tell him that you are hanging up now and put the phone on the receiver. Once you’ve done your research, you call him back and give your response.

And when following this procedure, you notice Mr. Jones is a different person on the follow-up call. He appears less engaged and more accepting of your response. And if he wasn’t? Well, you’d just tell him that’s what you decided was the best for his situation, give him your supervisor’s name, tell him you are hanging up now, and put the phone on the receiver.

Because it’s your highway, your rules, your way when these nasty people veer into your lane. Besides, you’re teaching these uncivilized individuals to grow up and act mature… at least when they are dealing with you.

Now using My S-T-O-I-C STORYTELLING method:

(S) Customers yell at me on the job, how should I handle?
(T) “The sword of justice is ill-placed in the hands of an angry man.” Seneca
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Book of First James
(O) I will control the situation.
(I) I realized I must treat the childish behavior of an adult as I would with a child.
(C) The character trait I improved was creating an impenetrable fortress around my mind.

Thank you for sharing your mind with me.

For your continued Success,

Hear MY Secret:

When they yell at you while on the job, snatch the reigns before they act like a snob.

I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess
and I believe in YOU