November 9, 2022
Kids can be a lot of fun, even if you’re not completely a kid person. However, if you’re thinking about dating someone who has kids, there are plenty of things to consider beforehand.
Because Christian dating is intentional dating to find a partner for marriage, you should know that children can be a lot of work. You will have to put in a lot of time and energy to raise children well. But, being a parent is definitely one of the most rewarding things you will ever do. Children are amazing. They can make your life very interesting.
However, having to deal with a child means that you have to think about the future, which means taking care of your partner’s children. This means that you and your partner can’t just do what you want when you want to. Weekend parties and an ocean cruise are likely outside of your capabilities. You have to put the children first. You have to take care of the children’s needs.
You will find that this is not easy for you, particularly if you haven’t spent much time before taking care of a child. You will have to do many things, like going to school to meet the teachers, doing homework with the children, taking care of yourself and your partner along with the children, paying bills, and dealing with your own problems.
Little children are very cute. It is easy to love them when they are at a young age. However, they will grow up and become teenagers. These can be the most problematic years. They will start to question you and your partner about everything including your Christian beliefs. Through this arduous time, you will have to thanklessly guide them into adulthood. This is a big responsibility, so don’t make this decision to date someone with children lightly.
However, if you have your mind firmly set and are willing to help another raise their children, you now need to ask yourself the questions below. Take these questions to heart and have a healthy conversation with your date before getting too involved.
Dating someone with kids can be hard and your time with your partner will be shared with their children. While you’ll want to give them the time they need to be with their children, it shouldn’t mean that you only see your partner when it happens to work out.
If things go well, in the future you’ll be around all the time just like their children and that means you’ll want to get everyone accustomed to you being in the picture. However, you should have a conversation with your partner about how much time you’ll be seeing each other as you date so that you’re both on the same page.
Always respect your partner’s time with their children. Try not to make the mistake of thinking that you will spend more time with your partner than they would like. Also, avoid feeling jealous if you know that your partner will be spending time with their kids. If you feel jealousy, it’s a good idea to talk about your feelings with your partner.
There’s nothing wrong with asking what time your partner’s schedule allows in order to ensure you have enough time together.
Life with kids means that you’ll be running around a good portion of the time for different venues, whether outings with their friends, sports games, and more. Having a good amount of patience and being flexible will help you get in their good graces.
Remember, you must let children be children. Many times they will have fun at your expense (think about having to constantly take them to soccer practice or band practice). You will have to be understanding while your partner’s children are learning about the world.
If your partner’s previous marriage ended with bitterness, resentment, and anger, then you’re stepping into a bad scenario.
Think of last-minute changes for childcare, or worse, the Ex may influence how the children view you. If your partner and their Ex don’t resolve their differences, it will continue to affect both your lives.
Devious tactics could be used by the Ex to try to interfere with your being able to date your partner as a way to force a breakup. They might even try to make sure that you don’t spend any time with the children.
Dating someone with children ultimately means that you’ll have a role in rearing their children. What will those responsibilities look like? How can you help shape them into a fully functioning adult, much less a person of character?
No doubt, this will take time and patience. If you’re up to the challenge, then it could be the beautiful beginning of a great friendship with the children and a wonderful relationship with your new spouse.
The good news about dating someone who already has kids is that you’re not alone in any of these matters. With your significant other, you can be a part of their lives as you date. You’ll know eventually if they are the person you want to share your journey through life with permanently.
When you begin dating someone with children, you’ll be responsible for helping them raise their children. You’ll be playing a very important role in his or her life. In return, you’ll gain much experience as a parent.
You’ll have to get used to dealing with diapers, naps, and other everyday problems if the children are young. You’ll also be dealing with changes in schedule, bedtimes, and discipline issues. If the children are teenagers, you’ll have to earn your stripes fairly quickly. All of these are normal parts of the life of a parent.
So, pray often and seek God’s guidance and know that you’re helping a loved one who truly needs your help.
I’m Lori Stith, The Stoicess
Your Christian Life Coach
AND I believe in YOU!
If you like what you mentally, now see, join my website to learn and think like me at StoicMatchmaker.com.
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